Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Talking to the Wall

It seems that I talk to walls more these days.

Yes, more than normal. I am known to talk to walls, myself, my computer, and the general air around me.

But the walls I write of today are of the three year old variety.

"What did you do at school today?"

Silence.

"Will you please get dressed."

Silence.

"Please clear your plate."

Silence.

"Did you brush your teeth?"

Yep, you guessed it, Silence.

I might as well be telling my 105 year old crumbling plaster wall to brush it's teeth.

Is this just a normal three-almost-four year old exerting her independence? I swear I can plea, coax, request and threaten until the cows come home and she still will not answer my question or do what I am asking of her.

What am I doing wrong? I try very hard to be level-headed and practice "Positive Discipline" as best as I can. But some days, and more frequent than not these days, I feel like I may as well sit in an empty room and bang my head against the wall all day.

Or better yet, herding my two elderly cats around the block would be easier than getting my darling daughter to get herself dressed in the morning without a knock-down screaming match.

And I thought at one time I wanted three kids?! Ha! I can definitely say that God got this one right. Although I think he wrapped all three figurative kids into my one and only....for better and worse.

Enough griping. I so sick of hearing myself whine already.

Any new tricks of the trade? I've only been a parent for nearly 4 years now. And no matter how unique and special I think my one child is, I know she can't be any more unique than any other child.

SO, calling all you parents out there...please help me pad the wall a bit. My head is pounding.

How can I get the wall to listen and talk back? OH, and preferably drama-free.
Posted by Hope at 9:49 PM
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4 comments:

  1. Honey, been there, done that...and still doing it. Morning drama is an ongoing battle. What works best for Holly getting dressed in the AM is setting out her clothes the night before. That helps eliminate the arguments about what she is wearing before they happen. As for Connor, he's my nine-going-on-sixteen-year old for attitude at the moment. The silence is infuriating, but the snotty tone of voice is even worse, I think.

    You could try just ignoring her - a passive attempt to show her what it feels like to have someone not answer your questions. We've also tried that banishing-to-the-room-if-you-can't-or-won't-be-part-of-the-family. Neither solution is ideal but it removes the temptation of lashing out in ways that you would later regret.

    You could call it a phase, as she has done a pretty good job of figuring out which Mom buttons to push that will allow her maximum control/independence in any given situation. Unfortunately, from what I've found, she'll most likely find something else to cause you tremendous amounts of frustration while allowing her the maximum amount of independence. It is all just one big game, I think.

    BTW, LOVE the new design!! Did you create it yourself?
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  2. Thanks Michelle. I thought that would probably be the case... so it is true there is always something she will do that will drive us crazy. I thought I remembered that from my childhood ;) Sorry MOM & DAD!

    I like the choosing clothes the night before idea...that's a good one. She usually doesn't really care what she wears (for the most part) but it's the getting dressed she doesn't want to do. Maybe if we pick out at night, and she has to get dressed before she comes downstairs in the morning, that will work. Thanks for the great ideas!

    And yes, I did my blog design. Glad you like it =)
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  3. Hope, I wish I could remember how you moved past this stage when you were young. I suppose the good news is that this is just a stage, a stage that is infuriating while living it, but we tend to remember best the good stuff. When you are fifty-something, you, too, will probably remember that there were issues with silence and getting dressed in the morning, among other issues, but you won't remember how they got resolved.

    Hang in there, you guys are awesome parents. Around the corner will be a whole new "issue" to forget. Love you, Mom
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  4. I'm not a mom or anything, but I think you should distract her by changing her routine. If she normally gets dressed before breakfast have her get dressed after breakfast or vice versa. I know you are supposed to keep kids on a schedule/routine, but something little to change things up might actually work. I also liked the idea of picking clothes out the night before. Maybe she's just bored with the routine. If this works, I will be totally suprised, but it's worth a try.
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