Passion and Productivity

Two words that I love and wish I took full advantage of daily: Passion and Productivity.

Today was a good day. I met with a client. I did my mommy duties. I had some good quality time fine-tuning some web pages. I made a lovely dinner. I enjoyed my family. I watched one of my t.v. show obsessions. Drank some wine. And read some of my favorite blogging friends.

A good day.

A productive day.

But was it a passionate day? I'm not sure. I do think it was more passionate than a lot of other days. I do love when I have really great moments with one of the loves of my life. She made me laugh hard today. Gut-wrenching hard. One of the best feelings ever.

I really enjoyed making a lot of progress on a web site that has been on hold for months now. I made a lot of improvements. I was able to weave in some creative moments into the site. And I'm so relieved my client is ready to move forward and publish it soon. Nothing is more dispassionate to me than being stagnant.

Passion can be so evasive even when we're enjoying what we're doing each and every day. And I honestly can say I don't enjoy every day. But I'm glad I have them. I'm glad I have a new canvas every day.

What am I passionate about? These days I think I'm passionate about being creative and doing something meaningful. Hence my jumping on the "I gotta reform health care for those living with T1DM" bandwagon. Definitely a passion these days. Don't get me started...

Hmm, other passions. I know I have them.

I don't know if you know, but I have been known to paint. Yes, paint on canvas. Oil painting. The last time I painted was over 5 years ago.

I got passionate about painting when I was quite distraught about not being able to conceive. It was a cathartic and relaxing past-time when I was trying to grapple with life's hardships.

I don't think it was a conscious decision to put the easel hidden away in the garage when I was pregnant, but it happened. It's hiding in the garage. Every day when I pull the car out to go on the day's errands, I see it. It almost calls to me. In fact, I think it is calling.

I'm not a "trained" or "educated" artist. But I love it. Whether anyone likes what I paint or not. I force any guests in my home to witness it, as it is placed strategically throughout my house next to many GREAT artists. I envy the oil as it blends and swirls and forms textures and shapes. The sheen of it on canvas feels rewarding.

OK, I think I'm establishing something that draws out passion in me.

Words bring out my inner-bookworm and librarian. I don't read or write as much as many. In fact I must be drawn to bookish people because many of my friends read, write, and read, read, read. Now I don't strive to write a novel or prize winning book of art, but every time I pick up a children's book I think to myself, it's time. It's time to write a book that everyone can enjoy. Literally. I know I've said this time and again. In fact, I've even remarked about it in this blog months ago. But I'm hoping in 2010 I make it happen. For the passion of it all.

So while I was quite productive today, I'm not convinced I was passionate about my production.

Maybe tomorrow I'll dust off the easel. I have Chayse's easel in the living room. Maybe I need to put mine near it. We can paint together. She with her lovely finger paints or Tempura. Me with my oils.

Or maybe I'll finally put all my childish thoughts down on paper. I literally run through stories and ideas in my head when I'm waiting at the red light on the way to Target. They're in there. Time to get the out I guess.

Passion. I guess it's not something that just happens.